Sarah and Tracy were grouped to complete a project assignment together which has a deadline of less than a months’ time. Although they were in the same class for 2 years, they had never worked together before. Sarah is a high achiever who excels in her studies and achieved straight distinctions for the previous projects while Tracy is an average student who is easily satisfied so long as she had done her best.
When it comes to the time that the project was returned, they found out that their grade was the lowest in class. Sarah was very unhappy about the results so she went to look for the lecturer. The lecturer had his own stand and perceptions for the submitted report, and since the marks was already allocated, there is also nothing he can do about it.
Seeing Sarah so worked up and frustrated, Tracy tried to go forward to console her. However, Sarah replied practically shouting, “Of course you can relax and chill. For such a person like you, getting a C or D is not something unusual anyway. But for me, I cant! I must get an A no matter what!”
After hearing this, Tracy was extremely shocked and hurt. She paused for a few seconds and then replied, “What are you trying to say? What do you mean by that?” Sarah murmured something under her breath. Tracy was so angry that she just turned her head and walked away. From then on, they ignore every time they see each other. They even bad mouth each other behind their back.
How could both Tracy and Sarah have handled the situation better?
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3 comments:
A very common case I must say.
If I were Tracy, I should not have tried to approach Sarah with the intention of 'consoling' especially when she is in a worked up or frustrated mood. Bad timing! I always believe that in such mood, people tend to say things without thinking and the words said can be ugly. I should have let her mellow down first and then, tried consoling her.
If I were Sarah, I would have just bite my tongue when Tracy approach you when you are frustrated. However, I do believe that sometimes you can't help but snap at the person when you are in your hideous mood. It's a normal thing especially when you are in a stress-out mode. If you are a high achiever all your life and once you stumble, its hard accepting reality sometimes.
However, if all has been said and done, then both parties should avoid bad-mouthing each other. Instead, meet up and settle it once and for all. Indeed, ego may be bruised and feelings has been hurt but there is a possibility of mending the friendship.
Woah..
I guess by the time I hear
“Of course you can relax and chill. For such a person like you, getting a C or D is not something unusual anyway. But for me, I cant! I must get an A no matter what!”
I guess i would just stand there and recollect myself. After that, I would just smile and say,"ok." Then I will walk off. It really hurts to hear that. It doesn't only put someone down, it also hurts their pride. Nobody deserves to be shamed in public. More over, this project is a collective effort put in by 2 persons.
Something of the same nature happened to me before. I was maligned for not contributing to the project and wasted much time. I was ultra-ly insulted. The next thing I did was to finish the last few parts of the project with the help of my teacher. Well, of course, this shut the person up. She became a semi free-rider in the end.
Anyway, I think Sarah should seriously do some self-reflection. Nothing in this world is perfect. She can never be perfect in everything that she has done. It project incident should serve as a reminder to her that not everything goes as planned. Sarah should also reflect on the attitude she has shown. She should not think that since she is clever, then she has the right to put others down. I guess this is part of her character. It would be advisable to tell her the truth about her flawed character so that she can do some self-reflection.
On the other hand, Tracy must have been feeling bad about the way she was treated. She do not deserve such sinister remarks. However, before she goes around back-stabbing Sarah, she should also do some self-reflection. Is it possible that she did not put in sufficient effort to doing the project? Did Sarah shot her mouth out because she was fuming? Could she have done more to salvage this relationship?
I guess ultimately, the both of them should consult the teacher together and have him to say his views on the project in front of them. This would appease Sarah as she would be the one who jeopardised the whole project. If it were to be Tracy, then she would have to pull up her socks so that similat episodes would not take place.
Anyway, I HATE such issues. It keeps my brain too busy for good.
Well written!!
Well, I believe this kind of incident is quite common in school as well as in the workplace. Project assignments are like unavoidable part-and-parcel of school life and work life. Through projects we can either forge stronger ties with people, remain neutral (quite rare in my opinion) or cause relationships to go sour. In this case, Sarah and Tracy became at loggerheads after this particular project outcome.
Sarah, being a high achiever and having great expectations in her academic results, will obviously be totally shocked and loss upon learning that she underperformed. Having tasted the sweet joys of success for a long time, failure is something that she cannot accept. Thus perhaps when she consult the lecturer about the post-mortem of the project, the lecturer can play a part in consulting her and helping her to "open up" and become more self-aware so that she can realize her own potential and understand herself and about failure better. That is why failure is regarded as the mother of all success.
Sarah should not use such blunt sarcasm on Tracy as this will show her insensitivity and lack of maturity as it is like pushing all the blame to Tracy. Nevertheless, this can be difficult especially when one is caught in the heat of the moment, causing irrationality and brashness to get the better of one. Hence, Sarah should still try to control her own feelings as much as possible and avoid lashing out anyhow about.
For Tracy, if it was genuinely her fault that she did not put in her best effort for the project, she should sincerly apologise to Sarah but probably when Sarah had cooled down reasonably and in the presence of the lecturer, who can act as a mediator.
Even if Tracy thinks she has put in her best for the project, she should be more sensitive and empathetic in her way of consoling Sarah so that Sarah may not misinterpret her goodwill for something nasty. In addition, this is best done in the presence of the lecturer so as to prevent any "unwanted eruption".
It should be noted that both Sarah and Tracy should know that in group projects, it takes a pair of hands or many pairs of hands to clap, thus both of them should cultivate the appropriate chemistry at the start to facilitate good smooth teamwork. Besides that, they should ensure that their project is able to answer to what the lecturer wants because sometimes giving unnecessary or unwanted details in the report can be detrimental to the outcome. Hence these are also some possiblities to why the project was awarded a low grade besides the different "intellect levels" of Sarah and Tracy.
At the end of the day, I guess both Sarah and Tracy should take a deep reflection of how they tackled the project and realized where is the actual root of the problem rather than throwing false accusations. Forgiveness should be an option if the person/s at fault is/are sincerly apologetic and remorseful about the wrongs they have committed so as to preserve the delicate harmony of the friendship.
Finally, Sarah and Tracy can treat this incident as a valuable lesson in life.
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